Call Me Crazy

I think you should probably go now… There is nothing to see here… This is my secret place—not yours!.. The occupancy permit only accepts one… But if the fire marshal asks… Please forget about all of my personalities… Because although I never invite them… They still manage to crash all of my parties…

I am well aware of the toxic cocktail that is my mind… Any person that has the capacity to do good… Also has the capability to do evil… Evil is easy… As humans I am starting to think evil is second nature—It’s hard work to do good…

Sometimes my thoughts scare me… I actually have to take a moment and give myself a “reality check”… Every person I meet is not against me… You are not plotting my demise—or are you?.. I must be able to read your future thoughts through this keyboard… I feel like you are plotting to lynch me while you read this very sentence—are you?.. Don”t answer that—I wouldn’t believe you anyway!..

It’s interesting that after shutting people out for so long… I could possibly think that I know what you are thinking before you do… It’s so easy to draw conclusions just by the look on your face… I have been told my entire life that I look like I am up to something—I usually was—but that is besides the point… I used to hate that about other people… Now I hate that about myself…

It’s odd how paranoia takes a hold of a person… My paranoia is no longer about your thoughts… Mine is about my own thoughts… You don’t want to know what I am thinking most of the time… My mental jokes are to dark for the general public… I find your misfortunes to be curiously amusing… I have been my own personal lab for years now… Now I want to do experiments on you… How much can you take?.. How do I compare to that?.. I know how much I can handle—how much can you?..

My breaking point is definite—as I believe yours is… Test me… I dare you… Every landmine you lay down… I will step on… That’s just how I roll now… Call me crazy—please—call me crazy!.. Call me anything… Just don’t you dare call me normal… I am an outsider… I do not fit in… I am beginning to accept this about myself… I am not a dinner party kind of person… I don’t really do bars… I am not social…

The first time I meet you—I will most likely mentally reject you… No offense to you—I just don’t “trust” anyone… I love people—But I hate meeting people for the first time… I no longer have any faith in my ability to read a first impression… I have made to many bad decissions as far as friends are concerned… It’s not so much that I don’t trust you… What am I saying—I don’t trust myself—why in the hell would I trust you?..

peace – crazychriscondello

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2 thoughts on “Call Me Crazy

  1. eatartdaily says:

    God is the love of my life

    Like

  2. I like to like people. But they don’t let me like them.

    Like

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