Scribbles from the Mind of a Struggling Soul

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“Sucked Dry” – © chriscondello 2013 – Frick Park – Pittsburgh, PA

Before you read this… Allow me to add a bit of context… These poems were scribbled on whatever I could find over the past week… When I work… I meditate… Although meditation usually takes me to a good place… It doesn’t always…

This week has been filled with triggers… And I have been emotionally struggling… But I am ok… I am stable… I am writing…

Higher Power

Staring through the waves of light…
Energy from the heavens…
Power from the mighty earth…
The source of my confidence…
The creator of me…
My higher power…
Apparently has no power…

Let it go…

Confidence lacking… Earth shattering…
Life scattered around me…
No idea where I’m going… No clue where I’m at…
I need to let it go…

Hunting for a dream… A direction…
Constantly avoiding my own reflection…
My back hurts from all this baggage…
I need to let it go…

Meditation reflects harmony and peace…
Hate absorbs hate… Anger attracts anger…
Bottled up… Ready for market…
I need to let it go…

My past dreams amount to cons and schemes…
Just another sad drug addict theme…
Spirit like Swiss cheese… Soul like a fallen tree…
I need to let it go…

Carrying the weight of my world around…
Thoughts simply add to my load…
I need to let it flow… I need to let it blow…
I need to let it all go…

Away…

Searching for a direction…

Every street looks the same…
Every fucking sign says stop…
Every corner I turn…
I see a fucking cop…
Standing here on the corner…
Surrounded by used needles and empty bags…
Shaking… Scared… But surprisingly strong…
I know what people expect…
Fuck… They tell me all the time…
They think I’m still a user… Loser…
A worthless drug abuser…
Let’s get something straight…
I don’t care about you… The haters…
You’ve left me no choice…
And this choice is mine…
I may not have a worldly direction… Yet…
I’m definitely not like you…
And I really don’t like you…
Though I can be kind…
I will never be your kind…

Thankfully…

plant petunias and question everything – chriscondello

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9 thoughts on “Scribbles from the Mind of a Struggling Soul

  1. akneis says:

    Agree with Petru… and I really liked this description…”Spirit like Swiss cheese…Soul like a fallen tree…”

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  2. petrujviljoen says:

    As things turn out, I follow another blog http://inspirationimport.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/let-it-be-she-let-go/

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  3. AND you write beautiful poems. The above has me in tears it says so much about me too.

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  4. ”I may not have a wordly direction … yet”. I don’t understand. You’re an accomplished gardener, articles of yours had been published in reputable magazines, you’re an artist, a meditator and a healer. No wordly direction? I don’t understand.

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  5. lelahb39 says:

    Beautiful and honest flow of words and emotional expression.
    There’s a lot going in in the energy of the universe right now (astrologically) speaking. Hang in there! And trust your flow, if it feels blocked. Find a way to clear that….open it up. Trust your flow, and that it will come, an be fruitful or you.!!! Best wishes. Be well.

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  6. Mary Beth Mannarino says:

    Hang in, Chris. You are strong and good and creative. I think of you often and send you loving thoughts.

    Mary Beth

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  7. Great minds discuss ideas…
    Average minds discuss events…
    Small minds talk about and judge other people…

    Love, hugs and prayers…ME and the Boss

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