Field of Gold – The Fog will Follow

InAField

“Field of Gold” – Keystone State Park – Westmoreland County, PA – A collaboration with nature…

Sitting in a flowering meadow… Myself and the swallows…
When this wind stops blowing the evening fog follows…
Sunset… Magic in nature… Magic in our short little lives…
Like these tiny swallows our energy rises and dives…

Water droplets from the relentless rains… Clinging to the trees…
A warblers song suddenly brings me to my knees…
Persistent decrescendo… Thunder rolling in the distance…
Between sunshine I imagine cooperative coexistence…

Existence with nature is simpler than existence with each other…
It’s easy to hug a tree but impossible to hug your brother…
Community is common unity… Unity is a social experiment…
The idea we can all get along is somewhat of an embarrassment…

We all have best friends… And we will all make enemies…
Value both… Learning experience taken from the centuries…
Unconditional love is thicker than water… Like a raging flood…
After the clouds comes the sun… Then the rain becomes mud…

plant petunias and question everything – chriscondello

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For My Friend

Squill

“Singular Squill” – © chriscondello 2013 – Calming blue… Soul soothing tones… The perfect companion on a day like today…

I wrote this yesterday… But I couldn’t press post until today… Sorry for the delay…

Today I received some grave news regarding a close family friend… Things are not looking good for him right now… This is not something I have had to deal with in quite some time… My initial feelings were rather cold… Having used heroin for the better part of a decade… I had become accustomed to regular death… Almost hardened to it… I expected it… And as a user… I embraced it…

It took roughly ten minutes for what I had just been told to sink in… Oddly… My initial feelings reminded me of being dope sick… I just felt ill… My initial reaction was purely physical… My stomach twisted… My head started to throb… Then I realized what was happening…

My face got warm… And it became difficult to see… Weird… My mind left the present… And immediately focused on the past… Memories… And not the bad memories I commonly associate with the people I used to use drugs with… But good memories… The kind you relate with a real friend…

The feeling was so foreign to me that the only thing I could comprehend doing was heading to the woods… It is the only place that makes any sense to me at all… Walking at break neck speeds… I choked back tears along the entire seven block walk to Frick Park… I have severed a finger without making a sound other than quietly asking to be taken to the hospital… I don’t cry… But today I cried…

Normally when I get in the woods I become a different person… I become highly aware of my surroundings… I look for color… Observe movement… Listen to everything… I don’t just think of it as walking through the woods… I walk with the woods… I don’t subtract… I add…

Today was different… I was expecting the good forest vibe to trump my grief… I was expecting the trees to kill my pain… Or at least dull it… Like an opiate dulls physical pain… But it did not… Although I was no longer on the brink of crying… I was still lost in thought… As I walked aimlessly through the woods… I realized that my mind was far from the present… I had no focus… I had no aim… I was just off-balance…

As I started to realize what I was feeling… I was able to focus it… And use it to some degree… Though I would compare it to learning to walk all over again… Normally… When I find a place to stop and work… I can focus on the present and get right to it… But today I could not focus… My mind was in the trees…. My mind was with my friend…

TopStack

“Watching” – © chriscondello 2013 – It is difficult to write about the feelings I had running through my mind while I was on this rock… Really painful…

As I clawed my way to the top of the steepest trail in the park… My mind was focused on getting as far away from the relentless onslaught of people walking their dogs through the park as humanly possible… On a normal day… This is one of the parks best attributes… But not today…Today I needed to get as far away from them as possible… I needed a place to be invisible…

At the top of one of the trails lies a shale outcropping… From this rock… I can see five trails… From this rock… I can see myself… From this rock… I can see you in the pale gray distance… I will do more than this stack of stones… Maybe 100 stacks… Maybe 1000 stacks… I just don’t know… I won’t know until it feels right… The only thing I do know… Is he deserves more… It is very rare to know someone who has had a positive effect on every person they came in contact with… Those that do… Deserve something special… I don’t grieve like most people… And I don’t memorialize like most people… But I do cry…

HoldingUp

“Holding Up” – © chriscondello 2013 – Because when you needed a friend to help hold you up… He was always available… And willing to help…

I will create art……
I will plant trees…
But most importantly…
I will not forget…

peace – chriscondello

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Blessings

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Very few rocks are made of gold…
Please pass some along my way…
Bless my family and my friends…
I don’t want to wait another day…

Some people pray for forgiveness…
Some people pray for wealth…
I just want to feel normal…
Worry about my own health…

Self destruction sold in singles…
Ten bucks will buy my demise…
Bless my family and my friends…
We would settle for second prize…

They tell you that it will get better…
That’s a god damn lie…
It only gets worse…
You just get better at dealing with time…

peace – chriscondello

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Relate With a State Park

© Ed Cheech Piskor

© Ed Cheech Piskor

Everyone has moments they remember…
Memories that seem to pop out of the dark…
This dream takes me to a massive rock…
Sitting in the beautiful Elk State Park…

Halfway up the side of a mountain…
Yet close enough to smell smoke…
My brother, myself and a friend sat silently…
Enjoying the sights while we toked…

To the right the air was hot and rising…
To the left it was cool and falling…
We laughed about the things to come…
And listened for you to come calling…

This feeling is one I will never forget…
The sounds, the sights, the plants and trees…
Oh the sounds and sweet sweet trees…
A few of the things that put my mind at ease…

A half mile up from a crystal clear river…
Next to a tree that recently fell…
The cool air smells so pure and pristine…
Feelings I don’t have to sell…

It’s rare to be around people I trust…
In a place with friends that let me be me…
My girlfriend, family and a handful of friends…
Are the only ones that let me be free…

The forest has nothing but love for me…
In a way you can say we relate…
Someday I’ll buy a big chunk of land…
Hopefully somewhere up State…

peace – chriscondello

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Government Gardener

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A meme does not make you a warrior…
Style doesn’t make you an artist…
Why would I spend my time writing grants…
Just takes time from my garden…

A government grant, is not a garden nor a farm…
Political bullshit does nothing but cause harm…
They choose your plants, and regulate your trees…
Make sure they control your money and your fees…

So many great gardeners are imprisoned by funds…
Won’t touch a shovel without payment refunds…
This is not about glory, it’s not about your money…
How much do you pay bees for their sweet honey?..

Beware of the radicals in anything you do…
Eventually they move on, and leave the work for you…
They are never satisfied, and they never stay…
They will find the next thing, and swiftly move away…

You see radicals come and go, they follow trends…
They never stay long enough to make many friends…
They get so involved, they wear the trends out…
Take a tip from me, and make them get out…

Out of our way, out of sight, out of mind…
Look around you, abandoned projects you’ll find…
This stuff isn’t easy, but it’s a whole lot of fun…
The little trick to a garden is be the last one…

peace – chriscondello

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