I grew this 2000 lb. pumpkin in my ass using the principles of permaculture… Moving it was the easy part… Take my $1000 class to find out how…
Permaculture is not vegetarianism… It’s not veganism… It’s not new-age… It’s not even peaceful… To me… It’s the heavy metal of gardening… Bill Mollison, the father of permaculture is a bad ass… The man has the ability to change climates… He is a self-made millionaire… And the man has composted human bodies before… On a different note… Bill Mollison is a brilliant business man… If you don’t realize how “big business” permaculture has become… Then I’m going to seriously disappoint you with this post… I’m starting to see permaculture and permaculturists as “the man”… And occasionally… The man needs to be brought to his knees…
In my city, Pittsburgh, the permaculture people who I have met so far have for the most part been elitist, condescending, and downright rude… Now I’m not saying that all permaculturists are like that… I’m just saying… If my perceptions of a movement that I deeply believe in are this swayed… What in the hell do you expect other people to think…
The permaculture design certificate course… Supposedly life saving information… Proprietary… Bullshit… Read any detailed gardening book and you will find the exact same information… Just with different terminology… Permaculture had to separate itself somehow… They want there $1000 dollar course to actually mean something… I did not have to spend $1000 to learn how to garden… Why should I pay a grand to practice something that I was doing long before I knew the word permaculture?.. And long before most PDC recipients had ever touched a shovel… To be honest… I don’t… And I won’t…
So here it goes… And I know I am going to piss people off with this… Permaculture is NOT a trademarked word… I can use it all I want… Permaculture… Huh huh… Permaculture… Permaculture… Look here… I’ll even alter it… Permabastard… Permabitch… You can’t do a thing… The fact that you would even try to trademark these principles is a vulgar testament to your greed… If you people were so interested in saving the world… Trademarks would be the last FUCKING thing on your mind… Not a single country in the world was willing to grant “anyone” a trademark on permaculture… Think about that…
“Welcome Home” – © chriscondello 2013 – Jeanette Street – Wilkinsburg, PA
Let’s talk about permaculture books for a second… I have read as many as I have been able to get my hands on… I have watched all of the propaganda films… I have even watched 2 72 hour PDC courses… One taught by Bill Mollison… And one taught in a university setting in North Carolina… This does not make me an expert by any means… But I will say there is very little proprietary information in any of these books… I find the exact same information in my Better Homes and Gardens books… But since reading any book that mentions pesticides is taboo with the permaculturists… They will never even know…
I see the PDC on the same level as a 2 year associates degree school… You know… The kind you see commercials for at 2 AM on TV… I have some bad news people… That course doesn’t mean a god damn thing… It is a pyramid scheme… You get taught information by a teacher… Then given a certificate to teach other people… The pyramid keeps growing as more people learn… And ultimately… Bill Mollison sells books… While sitting at the top of his pyramid… Laughing…
Never put more energy into something than you can get out of it… I know people who spend more time in the compost heap then they spend in the garden… Don’t be one of those people… Permaculture is about using resources wisely… Sadly… Money is one of those resources… I just don’t see how a class that costs $1000 dollars is solving any problems… To me… That is helping the elite few who can afford to pay that… Not the people who need this information to survive… If you can afford to take that class… You can afford to feed yourself…
I’m not saying I wouldn’t jump on the opportunity to take the course… But I “literally” can’t afford it… I would take every class that I could… But I can’t afford it… So I will just have to live with all the PDC recipients calling me a hack and refusing to talk to me… Even though they talked to me before they were the elite few…
Earth Care… People Care… Fair Share… My rosy red ass… More like… Bottom Line… Bottom Line… Bottom Line… Get real people…
Now I’m not saying permaculture or permaculturists are bad people or have bad intentions… What I am saying is we all need to get off our high horses… This is not special information… It is standard information… Just organized in a brilliant way… By a brilliant businessman… With an awesome name… That’s it people… Get over it…
“Perfectly Plum” – © chriscondello 2013 – Hamnett Place Community Garden – Wilkinsburg, PA
The deeper I have gotten in the permaculture world… The less I have liked it… And not so much permaculture… But the people involved… When someone asks a permaculture question… The answer should never be… “Take my permaculture course and I’ll tell you”… You know what I have to say about that… ASK ME… I’ll tell you anything you want to know about permaculture for free… Anytime… Anywhere…
In the past year… I have received a bunch of emails from people asking me about permaculture gardens that they had installed by the so-called permaculture designers… People are not typically happy with these systems after a year or two… They typically do not look nice… And permaculture is starting to get a bad name… Just because a plant is native… Does not mean it is not invasive… Just because a teacher tells you about a plant that did well in one location… Does not guarantee it will do good anywhere else…
So keep making those mistakes PDC people… Because your mistakes… Are my future work… Because fixing your mistakes… Is slowly becoming my business… Dont hire a permaculture designer when what you are really looking for is a Gardener with a solid understanding of what is good… And what is absolute SHIT in the permaculture world…
I am not the only person with this sentiment… There are a lot of us… Typically we are explained as disgruntled… Or unsuccessful practices… I have had nothing but success… My gripe does not come from permaculture… It comes from the people involved… When the permaculture people show me love… I will show them love… But until then… This is how it has got to be…
Again… I am not saying permaculture is bad… In fact… I think just the opposite… What I am saying is… Do not fall for the lie that the only way to be a permaculture designer is through a $1000 dollar course… I get that PDC’s need to make money too… It is a sentiment that has been plastered all over the internet by them… But they shouldnt be making money with a scam gardening course… Just saying…
plant petunias and question everything – chriscondello – sans pdc since 1981 and proud of it
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