The following post was not easy to write… before the emails and comments start I have to say that I am alright… I won’t be accepting comments on this particular post… Read it for what it is… A deeply personal piece of art… Enjoy…
“Snow on my Dreams of Spring” – Whitney Avenue – Wilkinsburg, PA – Yesterday… Snow fell from the mid-April skies… Last night… The temperature fell to 21F… Snow is truly falling on my dreams of spring…
“Plum Blossom in a Neighborhoods Bottom” – Second Presbyterian Church of Wilkinsburg – Hay Street – Wilkinsburg, PA – Took a walk through one of the neighborhood food forests the other day… It had to be a quick walk because it decided to start raining the moment I walked out the door… This garden was a project done by a local artist/resident and a few non-profits… And I honestly don’t think any of them are very fond of me… But… I don’t exactly have a background that screams… Be my friend… Or… Hire me… Or… I deserve a chance…
“Sunshine on a Cloudy Day” – Jeanette Street – Wilkinsburg, PA – No matter how much sunshine I create… No matter how many gardens… I still feel like a dark cloud… I often feel that your life will be better without me in it… I have major issues meeting people and being in social situations… I just don’t feel worthy… I feel scared…I don’t trust people… But more importantly… I don’t trust myself…
“Milky Way – Star Magnolia” – Hay Street – Wilkinsburg, PA – Not many people know this… But the reason I started writing a blog was because I had absolutely nothing… I was in the process of quitting a ten year struggle with heroin… And I literally had nothing… As far as job prospects are concerned… I had nothing… Nothing I could put on a resume… Nothing I could use to sell myself… And a criminal background that reads like a career criminal… I still feel like I have nothing… Thats why I started writing… So I could create a resume… So I actually had something to show people… Look… I’m not stupid… I am worth saving…
“Resident Chickadee” – Whitney Avenue – Wilkinsburg, PA – This blog is my attempt to create beauty… A shot at redemption… A shot at something I thought (and still think) I will never have… A normal life… I don’t quite know how to express how I feel… Dirty… Worthless… Maybe broken… Maybe I don’t feel anything… Maybe this is just practice for another life… It puts the draw of heaven into perspective… The all but out of reach clean start… The sacred second chance… The ability to be forgiven…
“Pink Stars” – Whitney Avenue – Wilkinsburg, PA – No matter how down on myself I get… I am always cheered up by my green thumb… I am always cheered up by the plants and the trees… You see… I can speak to them… And they speak to me… What I lack in social skills… I make up for in the garden… And I take photographs because I want to share the things I see… To show that I don’t see the world through the eyes of a criminal… Not anymore… I see the world through the eyes of a very lost individual who is literally… Seeking out beauty… Seeking out forgiveness… Seeking a way for me to let go of these bags and move on… It is imperative that I do this… That is why I started writing… Because there is no background check to write on wordpress… They don’t care if I am a felon… And I hope you don’t care… But if you do… Please take a look around my blog… read some of my poetry… Then I hope you will see that I am not a lost cause… That I have value… I know it is there somewhere… I just need to find it…
plant petunias and question everything – chriscondello
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